A new start...and a new week-in-the-life
We hear from MS, a full-time working mom of two on her meal planning routine and approach to socialisation.
My little one went back to school this week, and I’m heading into a new job this September. Trading my bus/tram/plane/bus commute for a bus/train/bike commute! I’ll miss my airport Pret pals, but it’ll be lovely to be home most evenings. I’m in that awkward transitional phase - wrapping up at my current uni and dragging my MA dissertation students kicking and scraming over the finish line + starting to prep autumn teaching.
If your kids are back-to-school, what does life look like lately? Fill out the week-in-the-life survey and be featured in the Substack.
This week, we hear from MS, who works in a leadership role for a healthcare provider, and lives in Texas with her big-law husband, 2 kids, and very large dog. I’m super inspired by her adult swim lessons - definitely on the 2024 to do list for me.
What’s your kid/family situation?
Location: Big city in Texas Me, DH, two kids, and a ~100lb rambunctious dog that is 3 human years old. DS #1 is 5.5 and DS #2 is 2.5. DS #2 has speech therapy through Early Childhood Intervention bi-weekly; it is currently virtual and we are looking into private, in-person options. No weeknight activities by design for now, but I expect that to change the kids express interest in various things; DS #1 will also join cub scouts next year which will be at least 2x/month after school/work.
What is your job situation? (Job, hours, WFH vs butts in seat)
DH works in Big Law, I have a leadership (non-executive) role at a health care provider; I’m a proud non-practicing attorney. We both have hybrid schedules – DH goes in M-Th (he likes going in), and I go in 1-2x/week max. DH travels often for work to see clients and interface with his practice area’s main office – usually it adds up to 3-4 weeks/quarter, he'll essentially be on travel for the second half of June with a few random days at home. This week was odd – he does work long hours but is usually home by 7:45 or so and then hops back on – but the current deadline he’s on has kept him back late.
DH works ~60+ hour weeks, I work usually 50 hours/week but I’m trying to into the habit of working no more than 40; I found I was working a lot, with this year being especially brutal, and it was mostly because there was so much swirl, pressure, and poor management…and it was taking a toll on my mental and physical health. I’m looking to find a new job with a different employer, so my personal focus is really self-care and career change right now.
What's your childcare situation? (daycare, wraparound care, nanny, magical grandparents)
Both kids go to the same private daycare/preschool, which goes through Kindergarten and is about 1.5 miles away from home – it’s a 5-7 minute drive with the dense traffic patterns near our home, and would take about 40 minutes to walk – I’m a big walker but haven’t done that one!
DS #1 finished Kinder there this year, and DS #2 is in a PreK class with kids his age (well, slightly older, but good enough for me). This year, the school is offering a summer camp for Kinder graduates and “alumni” which starts in a few days and runs through the end of July – so one drop-off for most of the summer, with lunch and snacks provided. For the days before camp starts, DS #1 and his classmates are split among the older Pre-K classes. Because DS #1 has a late birthday about 3 months after the cutoff, he’ll do Kinder again at our local public school starting in late August. DH handles dropoff (unless he’s on work travel) and I handle pickup. My immediate family lives about ~25 minutes away and is very involved with the kids – Mom comes over 1-2x/week in the evenings to help, stays overnight when DH is out of town, etc. We also have a few trusted babysitters we use regularly/as needed (teachers from kids’ previous preschool).
I’m fortunate my Mom is willing and able to help but I also want her to continue to have her own very robust social life and hobbies, especially since my Dad passed away a few years ago
A Week in the Life
Monday
It is Memorial Day! Boys stayed at my parents’ house Sunday Afternoon-Monday evening. DH and I went out to dinner and drinks with friends on Sunday night, so we spend the morning sleeping in, “gardening”, and then DH has some work to tackle and I have some life admin and job search to apply for.
I take a nap, and then go to my parents’ house to spend time with Mom and sibling. Kids eat dinner and take baths there; I drive home with them in their PJs. My Mom had some extra food I pack up for Tuesday night dinner – win!
We get home, and DS #2 goes to bed after some snuggles/tickles with DH, and DS #1 watches a bit of the NBA playoff game with DH before going to bed. I eat a sandwich for dinner (DH had grabbed dinner while I was at my parents’) and finish a novel. I do some life admin (booked our August trip!) take my time showering, getting ready for bed. DH and I watch some TV/catch up and I am asleep around 11 PM.
Tuesday
I wake up around 6:45, brush my teeth, and then head to the kids’ rooms in my robe (perks of WFH/hybrid life!). I get them ready while DH gets ready for an office day and pops his head in/out to chat with kids.
Me and kids are downstairs, and then it’s a whirlwind of breakfast (KIND breakfast bars + fruit + milk), making my herbal tea and coffee, emptying the dishwasher, clearing out DS #1’s backpack, etc. DH takes the dog for a quick walk, gets the dog breakfast, and then they are out the door. I finish breakfast and backpack clean-up and head upstairs with gaggle of containers - herbal tea, coffee, and breakfast.
I freshen up, put on a WFH outfit, and then by 8:30 AM I’m logged on and sequestered in my home office (a corner of our bedroom) with the dog, as our cleaning ladies are coming later this morning and he gets too excited. Work is a mix of heads down time, some meetings, moving around the house so the cleaning service can do their job, and a networking/catch-up call with a former colleague/friend about her employer. It was great catching up with her, but starting a role at her company would require 80% travel initially and I don’t think I want that right now.
DH comes home earlier – around 3 or so – and tells me that there were internet issues at the office so he’s heads down from home the rest of the evening. I have dinner plans with two of my BFFs, and my Mom is scheduled to come help with bedtime, so we’re all set.
I logoff by 4:20 PM or so, put on my weighted vest, and go for a long walk before heading to pick up at 5:30. I usually listen to a podcast or music during these walks, but end up calling one of my BFFs to finish a catch-up we started this weekend. She lives locally but is a single Mom and works a big job so it’s often tough to meet in person, so we take advantage of the phone!
I get home with the kids who are way overtired (tradeoff for getting exercise in…and catching up with BFF), start getting dinner warmed, etc. Dinner are the leftovers Mom packed – veggie paratha! I serve with yogurt and fruit. DS #2 decides to throw most of his dinner on the floor, so he’s done quickly and watching Elmo while DS #1 finishes. My Mom walks in, we chat for a bit, and she takes DS #2 up for bath.
DS #1 finishes, watches some TV while I clean up, and then I head out to dinner with two of my other BFFs in my city’s Asia-town. We have a standard place we meet when we do weeknight dinners which is equidistant enough for all of us to keep things simple. Dinner is great, good catch-up all around.
I’m home by 10:30, and spend some time chatting with DH about work stuff on both of our ends, getting my bag and outfit ready for the office, showering, etc. I’m in bed way later than I’d like – 11:30 PM. I start a new series that one of my BFFs recommended, but quickly turn it off and go to sleep.
Wednesday
I’m not happy when the alarm goes off at 6:15. Get ready for an office day. DS #1 comes into our bathroom while DH and I are getting ready and hangs out (not usual for us). After I’m ready the usual morning routine – breakfast is frozen waffles + fruit + milk, coffee, tea, dishwasher; DH handles dog and assists with the kitchen duties.
They are out the door by 7:30 AM, I tidy up, and am in my car by 7:50 AM or so. It’s about a 25 minute drive to my office with traffic. I have a few tasks, meetings, etc. all day – a few annoying things come up.
I peel away by 4:45 PM, get to school by 5:30 PM – I’m still annoyed about a work issue so I quickly jot down some notes – and then go get the boys, load up, and we’re home by 5:45 PM.
Let dog out, dog proceeds to get mud embedded in his paws, which I definitely miss while wiping his paws down. C’est La Vie. I “make” dinner (Hot dogs + avocados + fruit – this isn’t a usual meal for us so DS #1 is VERY happy) while boys “help” me – DS #2 in his kitchen tower while munching on meal components/trying to escape, DS #1 monitoring the hot dogs cooking. DS #2 is in a throwing mood again, so the evening goes as yesterday, except I’m solo with the boys. I’m used to handling the pickup to bed routine solo.
After DS #1 and I finish eating, I clean up while they watch Elmo, then it’s bath, book, and DS #1 and I spend some time snuggled on the couch watching dinosaur videos (I prefer this 1/1 time not to have screens but I’m tired so whatever).
Once he’s in bed, I have a cup of mint tea and finish some work, cruise job listings to apply for later, and do some life admin (calendaring, ordering a bunch of sunscreen and bug spray) on the computer. I’m done by 10 PM, exhausted, so I am getting ready for bed as DH gets home and in bed by 10:30 PM and takes the dog for a longer walk. Good night!
Thursday
Last night, DS #1 was awake and I’m not sure what happened, but DH ended up snuggling with him for a bit. Luckily it didn’t affect my sleep too much (Sorry DH!). I don’t feel bad because I have handled 90% of these situations since our kids were born. Usual AM routine – breakfast is oatmeal for DS #1 and yogurt/granola for DS #2 + fruit + milk.
First day of summer camp for DS #1 – so no backpack or uniform – big day! Once they are out of the door, I clean up the kitchen, do a quick mop of our downstairs since apparently our dog tracked in mud, which is annoying on many fronts but especially since…we just got our house cleaned. DH calls me after dropoff to brief me on the summer camp scene (kids are so funny!) and we also sync up on some weekend plans and kid coverage/childcare.
I get upstairs with my containers a bit later at 9 AM, and spend time writing this out, which is very therapeutic. It’s a meeting heavy day, and I wrap at 4:30 to do a peloton workout until 5:15. Try to coax the dog out for a walk, and it doesn’t work. I go get the kids, we come home and make dinner together – quesadillas (DS #1), black bean nachos (DS #2), taco salad (me).
DH is still at work so I make him some black bean quesadillas and put them aside for him to enjoy later. We take the dog for a spin around the block (with fruit popsicles for kids), which was surprisingly nice.
Once home, it’s bath, book for both, which ends up being a comedy of errors because DS #1 surreptitiously does 1 and 2 on the bathroom floor. Thankful we have Clorox wipes at multiple places in the house. Book and bed for DS #1 and then DS #2 and I work on a summer fun list before he goes to bed.
I finish cleaning up the kitchen, get on the computer to apply for a job I saw yesterday to find that the posting as disappeared, so I spend time texting friends about the And Just Like That season 2 trailer, update the grocery list, shower, and then get into bed with a new book I’m reading for a work book club discussion (it’s so good! Didn’t expect that) a little after 10. DH gets home while I’m reading, and we briefly catch up, and then I’m back to the book and lights out by 11.
Friday
Up at 6:35, usual routine – breakfast is the last of our KIND breakfast bars + fruit + milk for kids. I’m upstairs with breakfast + containers a little after 8, and do some emails and prep for an offsite meeting.
I finish getting ready and am out the door to offsite meeting – it’s a ~15 minute drive. The meeting runs over, as always, but it was worth it and I always block “transit” time on my calendar so I’m safe. On the way home, I have a quick call with a friend to sync up on a trip we’re planning for the Fall – we all turn 40 this year! O
nce home, I review/send a few emails, and get ready for a Noon workout class, which kicked my butt. As soon as it’s over, I check my phone and walk back home while talking through a work issue with a team member. Meetings and heads down work the rest of the day (I eat lunch at 2 PM while debriefing on a meeting we just wrapped – worth it to get a workout in), and I stop at 4:45 to finalize next week’s dinners (chicken curry with sweet potato and bell pepper sabzi, Ravioli with a veggie sauce, and then the default quesadillas and pizza) make the grocery delivery order (for Sunday AM) and pizza delivery order (for DH and kids’ dinner – I’m going out!). D
inner is at one of my favorite, nearby Thai restaurants with an old friend that I’ve recently re-connected with; she had reached out post-pandemic to meet up and I completely dropped the thread, but fortunately we had a run-in that was lovely and picked up seamlessly. Since she’s a few years ahead of me, I’ve always looked up to her and I still l do – now more than ever. She’s a physician with 3 kids, all within 2 years of each other (1 set of twins), and they have their various needs and interests that she and her husband – also a physician – manage (not easily, but with mostly a lot of joy and paid childcare/family help – she’s very real about it).
We stay out until 11 PM, fueled by lychee martinis, Penang curry, and a walk to a nearby bakery for dessert – way too late but worth it. In bed by 11:45 PM.
The Weekend
Saturday: I don’t set an alarm, and I’m up by 7:30. I get ready, get kids ready and fed (frozen waffles + fruit – DS #1 has one with Nutella which is a big treat for him), coffee and tea for me, and we head to the Y with a lot of bags and containers. Saturday mornings are DH’s chance to catch up with rest, go for a run, water plants and do any outside maintenance (mostly outsourced but the smaller things DH does) etc; Sundays are mine. Drop kids off at the Y’s childcare, do a 40 minute stint on the treadmill, and then head to swim class – for me!!!! I’m trying to improve my swim skills. After my class – taught by a rising junior in high school, and she was excellent – I grab the boys and we all have pool time. After getting dressed (which is always another comedy of errors), we go for lunch at…Chick-Fil-A, which the app of this problematic company makes a complete seamless experience. Then it’s home for naps/rest time. DH and I get the boys down/to their rooms, and I shower, detangle/wash my hair, and settle in for some reading/lay down while DH gets back to work. Around 3 PM rest time ends for all, so we do some snacks, indoor playtime and screentime. I’m majorly dragging so make a cup of instant coffee (tell me you’re South Asian without saying you’re South Asian). My Mom comes by around 4:30, makes herself some instant coffee, we catch up, DS heads out with a bunch of work reading he plans to do at a brewery. I get dinner ready for kids (leftover pizza + fruit) while chatting with Mom, and then head upstairs to get ready for a work-adjacent event while Mom hangs with the kids. Tonight’s event is a graduation party -- a colleague that one of my reports manages just got her master’s! I have fun with my makeup – glittery eyeshadow and hot pink lipstick, and head to the event which ends up not being as far as I thought – about a 20-minute drive thanks to no Saturday evening traffic. The event is lovely – I catch up with a colleague and their family, meet close family and friends of my team member, and enjoy a mimosa and a lovely plate of chicken mole. I head out around 8, so people can actually have fun without a boss figure lurking around, but not without grabbing some extra hot cheetos and tajin covered peach rings from the dessert table. DS just returned home, and Mom is wrapping up tucking in DS #1 when I get back. Mom leaves, and then DH and I catch-up, have some dessert (cereal and some of DH’s quesadilla for me) and watch TV (and fall asleep on the couch). I end up getting in my bed super late, like 1 AM, after doing the first round of REM on the couch...eek.
Sunday: Up around 7:30 AM or so – basically once, our groceries are delivered and I can hear the kids banging around in their respective rooms. DS #1 comes to say good morning, and once he’s out of the room DH and I quickly garden (after locking the door). DH starts laundry, and the kids leave the house for breakfast around 8:30 AM (very late for us!) at our neighborhood diner. I put away the groceries and the requisite tinkering in the kitchen and run to my workout class. Once again, it kicks my butt, and between the late last few nights, socialization, and exercise I’m…tired. I pick up some bread for the week and a croissant from the neighborhood bakery on my walk home, and spend some time catching up on my magazines until the family returns around 11:15 AM. It’s some playtime for the kids, and then I make DS #2 a bowl of yogurt and blueberries before he goes down for a nap (they usually have HUGE breakfasts so lunch on Sundays is quite simple), and then a green smoothie for DS #1, and he’s off to rest time. I’m feeling…not great, so I shower, put away some laundry (DH largely oversees/handles, but he’s working so I try to help move it along) and take a nap. By the time DS #2 and I are up from our respective naps, DH and DS #1 are planning, as DH and I previously discussed, to head to the pool. They head out, and DS #2 and I have a snack, and we start to cook together which is an absolute failure, so after my distractions/attempts to do speech therapy practice while cooking stop working, I let Elmo save the day. By 4:30, DS #1 and DH are back, I’m in the middle of cooking, and we have a family zoom with my FIL at 5. DS #2 and I are in and out of the family zoom, which is done by 5:30. I wrap up dinner/clean up and the kids and I eat together; DH is back at work and will eat later. I’m really dragging at this point and let DH know he’ll have to handle the rest of the clean-up/food storage, to which he agrees. Get the kids their baths, book, and then DS #1 goes downstairs to watch a bit of the NBA finals with DH, while I zone out in my bedroom and not talk to anyone for 20 minutes. DS #1 comes in to say goodnight, and I happily snuggle with him and tuck him in. I go downstairs to have some granola/milk (my preferred dessert these days) and DH is finishing the game and has a movie in mind that is of 0 interest to me – so I go back upstairs, put away the last of the laundry, get in bed, and start watching an episode of a series that was filmed in my city/features a community here, but I’m PMSing and oh so tired. DH seemingly is also waning, so after some snuggles and laughs, we’re happily in bed with lights out by 10:45 PM.
Reflections
What was your biggest success this week?
Despite what is written here, I am NOT an extrovert - so this much social activity is fun while I'm in it, and important for me to nurture these relationships, so having this was a big "win" for me. That and the workouts!
What was your biggest obstacle?
I definitely needed more downtime, and wish I had made more progress on my book.
How are you making it work?
Coffee, family support, and calendar blocks
Putting my meal prep formula here because it has had about a 90% success rate and as absolved a lot of decision fatigue. This week was not our standard but reflects well what happens during busier/shorter weeks and/or when DH is on travel. I usually prep dinner in advance 1-2x/week and/or my Mom brings over food and we eat those meals Sunday-Wednesday. I try to make Indian-ish items, like daal, chicken curry, etc. or very veggie-heavy items – like pasta with a tomato/veg sauce, meatballs with peppers and mushrooms mixed in, etc. I have a bit of a template we use, which includes quesadillas on Thursdays and pizza delivery on Fridays. Weekends are a lot more unstructured – we do a mix of leftovers, quick meals like eggs and toast, maybe a meal at the very controversial/maligned (for good reason) Chick-Fil-A for Saturday lunch, and/or then a nice Sunday dinner at home or even out – which works for us.