A Week in the Life: JM, a director-level staffer with two school-aged kids.
In this week’s feature, JM shares how she makes it work, with early starts for exercise and reflection, and an inspiring carpool network.
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What’s your kid/family situation?
Kids A (boy aged 7 in 1st grade) and B (girl aged 5 in kindergarten) with my husband of 10 years. We live in a large city in the US without any full time local family. My parents are unpredictably in our city in 1-3 week stretches for 4-5 months out of the year which is lovely, but not reliable enough for regular childcare. They do not live with us when in town.
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What is your job situation? (Job, hours, WFH vs butts in seat)
Director-level job that has been full-time WFH since early 2022. The flexibility this brings especially in slower times is amazing! I work about 40 hours per week right now (slow times) or if you subtract out bio-breaks, phone scrolling, random non-work related tasks, and wandering aimlessly in the backyard when I just can’t brain anymore, about 36 hours per week. I’m a Laura Vanderkam fan and have found through detailed time tracking over the years that seven hours of focused work a day is a good average day for me.
What's your childcare situation? (daycare, wraparound care, nanny, magical grandparents)
Both kids are in school 8-3. I drive carpool in the mornings (1 hour roundtrip) and the other family brings them home after school. Each quarter they get to pick 1-3 after school activities at school (e.g., swim, soccer, garden club, math club, etc.) and we coordinate pickups with other family so I have (mostly) uninterrupted afternoons. Depending on whether it is a club day, kids usually arrive home 0.5-1.5 hours before my workday is done. They get a snack and 20-30 minutes of quiet screen time to decompress, then they have to find screen-free activities. This arrangement works because they are pretty mature and independent, so my involvement is limited to 5-10 minutes of snuggles and asking about their days when they get home, then I can go back to working. I’m a morning person, so I save admin stuff for the late afternoon - if they needed to interrupt me it wouldn’t be a problem, but they usually don’t.
A Week in the Life
Monday
I'm up at 5 for coffee and devotional time, then head to our garage gym for a 45-minute workout on my bike trainer by 5:30. I take a quick shower and throw on clothes to get the kids up by 6:25. Snuggle time, breakfast, snacks packed (they eat school lunch, but pack snacks for snack time and for the ride home from school), uniforms on and out the door by 7:15. We pick up our neighbor and make it to drop off around 7:45. I listen to a favorite podcast on my way home and arrive at 8:15 to make another cup of coffee and settle in for work. I get in the zone at work until about 3pm with only a brief break to warm up last night's leftovers for lunch and realize we are out of hand soap in the bathroom next to my office - Amazon will have it here tomorrow. At 3 I notice a neighbor's Facebook post giving away a gymnastics bar her daughters have grown out of. I walk down the street to pick it up because my daughter has been saving up for one. She will be thrilled! Husband picked up son from school for sports practice and daughter is playing at carpool family's house this afternoon, so I stop work just after 5 to pick her up. While there, I find out carpool family's babysitter for a Wednesday night away has fallen through, so I offer to have carpool friend spend the night Wednesday. Plans are made and I take daughter home to play in the back yard, read a book, and eat dinner together before husband and son get home (they ate out after practice). I do kids' bedtime routine and have lights out at 8, then chat with husband until 9:15 before heading to bed.
Tuesday
I wake up at 5:30 instead of 5 unintentionally, so I skip the workout with a plan to get it in at lunchtime. During the morning routine, we discover son left his school shoes at the gym, so we hustle out the door to stop by the gym on the way to school. I'm back home starting work by 8:20 and get in the zone until 12:30. At 12:30 I head to the garage for a 35-minute lifting session. A quick shower and lunch, then back to work. Carpool family drops kids at the house just before 4pm and I take daughter to speech therapy at 4. I pass a football in the backyard with son for a little while to get some one-on-one time with him, then clean up a few work admin items before picking up daughter at 5. Kids have 20 minutes of screentime and then homework and play time while I finish working and we all wrap up around 6. Kids want to go out to our neighborhood Mexican restaurant and I think that's a great idea since husband has an after-work event tonight, so off we go. By 7:15 we are home for bath, books and bed. Husband gets home and we chat for an hour between 8:30 and 9:30, including planning logistics for Wednesday and Thursday with an extra child (carpool friend) in the mix. We agree that he will take kids to school on Wednesday so I can work early (best for my chronotype) and I'll do school pickup that carpool family usually handles and take son to sports practice in the afternoon (better for his chronotype/work style). I head to bed while he catches up on a few work items in his study.
Wednesday
Up at 4:45 for a devotional and bike trainer workout, then 30 minutes of work before getting the kids up and ready for school. Husband leaves to take kids to school at 7:15 and I get back to work. During the day, I do all laundry (not folding it - I do laundry on Wednesday and we have someone who comes to fold and put away on Thursday) and dump sloppy joes ingredients in the instant pot and press start. Kid pickup takes from 2:40-3:45 and I get all three kids settled with a snack and a cartoon when we get home. I head back to work, walking out to turn off the TV and give play options at 4:15. At 5 I load everyone in the car, discover son's sports equipment is in husband's car, stop by husband's office to grab equipment, and skid into practice parking lot with two minutes to spare. I do writing practice with daughter and carpool friend during son's sports practice. After practice, the kids gang up on me urging Chick-fil-A instead of sloppy joes and I acquiesce. We go through the drive thru and have a chill dinner and sleepover movie at home. The kids bed down together in one room (Cordaroy's bean bags FTW!) and I lay on the floor reading a ebook on my phone until they fall asleep. I'm logistic-ed out, so I get ready for bed and fall asleep by 9:15.
Thursday
Up at 4:45 for devotional and bike workout, shower, kid morning routine, then I drop kids at school and take a work call on my way home. I work until noon when I head out for a hair cut. We have a household helper who is a lifesaver who comes for three hours on Thursdays to fold and put away laundry, change sheets, and handle any other household tasks I can't seem to get to. She arrives while I'm out and does her thing. A coworker calls for a brainstorming session on my drive back from the hair cut and we wind up talking for two hours, making good progress on a major project. Daughter arrives home at 4 and carpool family takes son to after school activity that carpool friend also participates in. Daughter is super chill, so I grab her a snack, have a few minutes of snuggle time, and she gets 20 minutes of screen time before pulling out aaaalllll the art supplies to make valentines for friends. I go back to work until husband gets home at 5:45. I put a frozen pizza in the oven and push daughter on the swing in the backyard with husband. Son gets home shortly after and we do pizza and a movie for dinner. The cold that I've had for a week is giving me a horrible pressure headache (hence the easy dinner), so I put the kids to bed, chat with husband for 20 minutes about the weekend and vacation dreaming, then take a hot shower to attempt to relieve sinus pain. I'm in bed at 9.
Friday
Up at 5, devotional, quick lifting session, shower, kid morning routine, and school drop off all by 8:15. I meet up with a few friends who also have kids at our school for coffee just to hang. This is one of the highlights of my week! I'm back at home for work by 10. Around 12:30, I get a text from carpool family that carpool friend has been picked up from school and they can't do school pickup. Literally one minute later I get a request from management to join a project meeting in which I'm a key contributor from 1 to 4:30 - typical, right? I agree to the meeting and text husband, who tells me he's in a deposition all afternoon and can't do pickup. My mom is in town and rescues me by agreeing to do pickup. If she couldn't do it, I have a few other neighbors who might have been able to pickup or I could have sent kids to on-site after care and picked them up by 6. Backup plans are key - as much as I wish this situation wasn't typical, it does happen regularly and more often during sick seasons like January-February. The whole family lands back at the house around 5, we get takeout and hang out until bedtime. Husband does the bedtime routine while I take my bike off the trainer so I can easily get out for a ride in the morning. Husband and I hang out in the evening and get to bed by 10.
The Weekend
On Saturday I sleep in until 6, snuggle kids when they wake up at 6:30, then get out the door for an hour-long bike ride until 8:15. Husband takes son to sports practice, lunch, and a round of golf, while I take daughter to gymnastics (I meal plan and put in a grocery order during her class). Daughter and I "play" tennis for thirty minutes at our local city courts, then head home for lunch and play time. Eventually husband and son land and we have a chill evening watching college basketball and playing board games. Sunday we sleep in a bit and head to church, then I take daughter to a birthday party and to get her hair cut while husband and son play golf. We all are home in time for an hour's rest and then watching the Super Bowl together!
Reflections
What was your biggest success this week?
This was a nutty week, so my biggest success was making time for an outdoor bike ride on Saturday and friend time on Friday - both activities that are 100% recharging!
What was your biggest obstacle?
The constantly changing schedule. This week required a lot of flexibility! It feels like an unusual level of flexibility, but this week is probably more typical than I think.
How are you making it work?
Early mornings save my sanity - I’m a morning person, so it works for me, but I need time to drink coffee, do a devotional, exercise in our garage (4-5 mornings per week), or catch up on important work before the rest of the family is up. It’s like my cup gets filled first so I’m not crazy the rest of the day!
Having someone come on Thursdays to take chores and random home tasks off my plate is a huge game changer. Because she is a professional, she is a lot faster than me at these tasks, as well! Also, carpool arrangements and backup carpool arrangements and the backups to the backups.
We used to pay a nanny to do school pickup and hang with the kids in the afternoon, but she brought her kids and it was too stimulating for my kids who seem to need decompress time in the afternoons. This year having another family to carpool with and handle pickup in the afternoons makes all of this work during the school year!