A Week in the Life: LAL, a clinical psychologist with 2 young kids, shares how she makes it work solo.
Clinical psychologist and single mom LAL shares a peek into life with two kids, and a full-on job supporting looked after children.
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What’s your kid/family situation?
Single mum with two kids aged 5 (boy, F) and 3 (girl, R). Ex partner has them every Wednesday night until Thursday and every other Saturday to Sunday.
What is your job situation? (Job, hours, WFH vs butts in seat)
I work full time Monday to Friday, as a Consultant Clinical Psychologist in a team for children who are looked after. Some days I WFH, some days I am driving between appointments across the county. I also do additional court work on the side for extra money.
What's your childcare situation? (daycare, wraparound care, nanny, magical grandparents)
R's 30 funded hours have recently kicked in. She is in full time nursery. Three days are funded with the 30 hours with an additional £10 a day charge for sundries. Nursery is open 7.30-6.00. F is in year 1 at school. I can take him into school most days, he starts at 8.45. Otherwise it's breakfast club. There is one run by R's nursery and they'll walk him into school so I opt for that one for one drop off. After school, F goes to Spanish on Mondays so I try and pick him up at 4, otherwise he will go to tea club at the junior school next door until I can come and get him. Tuesdays he'll go to the after-school club run by nursery. This one runs until 6pm so gives me a bit more flexibility with work. Wednesdays, ex partner picks them up. Thursdays and Fridays he goes to the junior school tea club. This is only on until half 5 so it can be a mad rush. However his friend doesn't go to the 6pm one in the latter half of the week, and lots of his friends go to the 5.30 one, so I do my best.
No magical grandparents! Dead mother and retired father who is localish. Sister who works full time as a teacher.
School holidays are a mix of time off, various clubs and occasionally a day with my sister. In theory, we split the school holidays between me and their father, in practice, that hasn't happened yet. I pay for all childcare.
A Week in the Life
Monday
Monday is WFH day. We have our referrals and allocations meetings between 11 and 2.30, with a half hour lunch break. I try not to book much in before or after so I can do some work admin, but most weeks something will be put in - a consultation, an urgent risk management meeting.
Tuesday
I'm starting to get some structure to my Tuesdays. In theory I'm out in the morning for therapy appointments (at the moment we don't have a therapy base so it's lots of driving), and then from 12.30 -5pm I'm doing consultations with other professionals about cases they need help with. 3 consultations in that time slot with no break. These are on Teams from home. R goes swimming at 6.30 on Tuesdays so it's a dash to get the kids, feed them and drive the 20 minutes to the pool. F gets to sit on the side and play the Switch during the lesson, I'm in the pool with R.
Wednesday
I'll take the kids in, with their overnight bag at nursery for their dad to collect. Usually I'll take F to school and then head out for therapy appointments - at schools. I do a longer day on Wednesday, until 7pm, with the goal of taking one day a month as time owing. Either I'll WFH on the evening or I might arrange a later appointment with a young person. This week I'm seeing a girl at 5pm.
Thursday
Thursdays are a bit of a transition day at the moment, a mix of therapy appointments, meetings with staff, bits of training with other teams. I always tell myself on a Wednesday night that I'll get up early on a Thursday because I don't have the kids, but usually jump out of bed at 8.45 and log on. Rest is important!
Friday
I try not to book in any therapy appointments on a Friday afternoon. We finish at 4.30 and sometimes I might pick F up at 3.15 and let him play on the Switch for a bit while I finish work. Otherwise I'm out and about. Lots of meetings on Friday mornings for some reason.
The Weekend
These really vary. EOW I don't have the kids from Saturday 10.30am to Sunday 3pm. We don't do any classes on a weekend, something has to give. F used to go swimming at 9am on Saturday but it's too hard to manage with no one to watch R. He wants to start football, but R and I would just have to stand on the sidelines and watch. We try and see friends and family as much as possible. I'm lucky that I have family close and we have school friends who live on our estate. If I don't have the kids, I'm probably sleeping, tidying the house or working, writing reports for my side job.
Reflections
What was your biggest success this week?
Remembering to dress R in something with numbers on for Number day at nursery, and take money for the donation to the NSPCC. Also figuring out and booking childcare for half term.
What was your biggest obstacle?
Half term. I'm off for two days, my sister has the kids one day. Ex has them zero days. The kids are in one club on Monday together that takes 3-11-year-olds. Then Tuesday F is in a club for 4+ and I'll pay for R to go to her nursery an extra day (she is now on a term time-only contract).
How are you making it work?
I have a whiteboard planner in the kitchen to track every week who is where, clubs, evening meals, birthdays, what needs doing and shopping lists. I use my work calendar to put personal things in too, using the private option when I need to. I moan to friends and use my Discord for advice, a boost and a distraction.
The kids sleep in my bed because it reduces bedtime battles. I have a Peloton so I try and do some exercise once they're asleep. I get groceries delivered - shopping with two kids is hell on earth, do not do it. Kids do not need a bath every night, they can go every other night. Have a tumble dryer. I had a cleaner once a month for my sanity, but they have folded so now I am looking for a new cleaner.