I find the gendered dimension of volunteering so interesting. My son's school is BIG and it's the same group of 10-12 mums at everything - school related and not. Most with already busy lives in terms of kids, work, other projects.
Oh the gendered component… at the first elementary school welcome meeting, where PTA, etc spoke, I looked at my husband and said “It is insane how intensely our public school relies on the unpaid labor of moms.” It’s almost always women. Some are SAHM, but a lot are not and it is SO much work.
Agreed. A lot are not. I get along well with them and I think I know why - they have very similar values in terms of 'if I am in the privileged position of having a lot more resources than my kid's classmates' families, I have a responsibility to serve in some way'. Maybe dads don't feel this, or maybe don't feel like school is a domain where they 'belong'.
I said I did time, but I really do both time and money, it’s just aggressively skewed towards time right now. I started getting more heavily invested earlier in the pandemic, when I had dialed way back on work. I picked up our non-profit daycare board seat that my husband was vacating, then my eldest started elementary school and I started volunteering. I’m not naturally a joiner, but I have found myself over-committed at this point, now that I’ve been back to work for quite a while. I’m on two childcare organizations boards, I do a weekly school volunteer commitment, I was room parent this past year (never again!), and I try to show up for classroom volunteering semi-regularly (esp library!). I was considering adding something recently but I really don’t have any extra time. At this point, I need to start stepping back from things, but it’s hard. I really like being involved and it makes me feel so much more connected and aware of our community. Our kid balance is about to shift from two in daycare/1 in elementary to 1 in daycare/2 in elementary and I’d like my volunteer time to reflect that. I also really hate the gendered component SO much. Interestingly, our daycare board is pretty balanced (and sometimes skews more male), but at elementary school it is predominantly women providing the insane unpaid labor the public schools in our town apparently run on. At the same time, my kids benefit from a lot of that unpaid labor, so I do feel the need to contribute as I can.
Our school requires 10 volunteer hours per family per year. I'm on the PTO Board and a room parent, so I would meet that alone, but we make sure that my husband also volunteers so our kids see a division of labor and that Dad cares about what they do in school, too. We also contribute financially to the school fundraisers. My husband will be treasurer of the Cub Scout Den next year.
I would like to volunteer or contribute more to our larger community, but I haven't found a good fit (low time, flexible time, something I care about, something our kids could do). That's a goal for the next year. I do contribute financially to some local and national causes.
My kids are still little: 3 and 5. There is no PTO at preschool and daycare is , well, daycare. Next year my oldest will be in kindergarten and my hope there will be more opportunities then. I will not overload myself, that is crystal clear. On a larger scale, we have neighborhood associations in two towns (one main town and one is a suburb of that main town) and they have events for the neighbors where everyone is invited. We have attended a couple and it was nice to meet/see neighbors again.
And a reflection on a pre-scheduled post.
I find the gendered dimension of volunteering so interesting. My son's school is BIG and it's the same group of 10-12 mums at everything - school related and not. Most with already busy lives in terms of kids, work, other projects.
Oh the gendered component… at the first elementary school welcome meeting, where PTA, etc spoke, I looked at my husband and said “It is insane how intensely our public school relies on the unpaid labor of moms.” It’s almost always women. Some are SAHM, but a lot are not and it is SO much work.
Yep definitely! Our PTA chair is so busy and I’m not sure how she does it?
Agreed. A lot are not. I get along well with them and I think I know why - they have very similar values in terms of 'if I am in the privileged position of having a lot more resources than my kid's classmates' families, I have a responsibility to serve in some way'. Maybe dads don't feel this, or maybe don't feel like school is a domain where they 'belong'.
Yeah, my husband has definitely felt a bit awkward as the lone dad.
I said I did time, but I really do both time and money, it’s just aggressively skewed towards time right now. I started getting more heavily invested earlier in the pandemic, when I had dialed way back on work. I picked up our non-profit daycare board seat that my husband was vacating, then my eldest started elementary school and I started volunteering. I’m not naturally a joiner, but I have found myself over-committed at this point, now that I’ve been back to work for quite a while. I’m on two childcare organizations boards, I do a weekly school volunteer commitment, I was room parent this past year (never again!), and I try to show up for classroom volunteering semi-regularly (esp library!). I was considering adding something recently but I really don’t have any extra time. At this point, I need to start stepping back from things, but it’s hard. I really like being involved and it makes me feel so much more connected and aware of our community. Our kid balance is about to shift from two in daycare/1 in elementary to 1 in daycare/2 in elementary and I’d like my volunteer time to reflect that. I also really hate the gendered component SO much. Interestingly, our daycare board is pretty balanced (and sometimes skews more male), but at elementary school it is predominantly women providing the insane unpaid labor the public schools in our town apparently run on. At the same time, my kids benefit from a lot of that unpaid labor, so I do feel the need to contribute as I can.
Our school requires 10 volunteer hours per family per year. I'm on the PTO Board and a room parent, so I would meet that alone, but we make sure that my husband also volunteers so our kids see a division of labor and that Dad cares about what they do in school, too. We also contribute financially to the school fundraisers. My husband will be treasurer of the Cub Scout Den next year.
I would like to volunteer or contribute more to our larger community, but I haven't found a good fit (low time, flexible time, something I care about, something our kids could do). That's a goal for the next year. I do contribute financially to some local and national causes.
I volunteer in the school library, so much fun!
Oh that's lovely!
My kids are still little: 3 and 5. There is no PTO at preschool and daycare is , well, daycare. Next year my oldest will be in kindergarten and my hope there will be more opportunities then. I will not overload myself, that is crystal clear. On a larger scale, we have neighborhood associations in two towns (one main town and one is a suburb of that main town) and they have events for the neighbors where everyone is invited. We have attended a couple and it was nice to meet/see neighbors again.
Oh that's really nice! We have a walled garden near us and try to attend as many of their events as we can, as it's nice to mingle.